Anger In The Home

Eph 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor (VALUE THEM AS SPECIAL) your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

  • What is the promise for children who honor and obey their parents? What does that mean?
  • What are examples of how things can go well for children by obeying their parents?
  • What are some examples of things going bad for children by disobeying their parents?
  • What are things your children do that make you feel honored?
  • What other lessons do children learn by learning to respect and obey their parents at an early age?

The command to obey your “parents in the Lord” means both father and mother are sharing the role of raising kids.

  • Explain some details of this shared role?
  • FOR EXAMPLE: What should both parents be modeling?
  • Would you agree that parents need to be on the same page for raising kids? Give examples

Verse 4 moves to fathers!

  • Why does Paul specifically point out Fathers?

Fathers have a leading responsibility in raising children not the only responsibility – initiative

Pastor Tommy stated –

If there’s a problem with child raising in the Roberts house hold and Jesus knocks on the door and Kristie answers the door He will ask where is the man of the house…. EVEN IF ITS HER FAULT!

Paul is extending the role of headship of the man back in Ephesians 5 to being the leader in raising children here in Ephesians 6.

Husbands bear the responsibility in both directions. Wife and kids

Pastor Tommy stated-

God doesn’t say to me to bear the Christ like burden of sacrifice, sacrificial love, provision and protection to Kristie and then say Kristie you’ve got the responsibility to lead the kids.

Kristie partners with me in raising our kids in the Lord and she has a unique and precious role in the life of our kids that I can’t do. However, I’m responsible for the moral vision, direction and big picture of our home! That includes raising children!

The real issue in these verses is anger. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger.

Why this warning and no other warnings? Why anger?

Anger is the most common reaction of the sinful heart when it confronts authority.

Dad embodies authority! When a 2-year-old wants something, and can’t have it, anger is the most common emotion that rises from their heart. The child’s self-will and mom or dad’s authority meet, anger flares. A two-year-old throws a tantrum and a teenager slams the door—or worse.

So, I think Paul is saying, if anger is going to happen in the best of parenting don’t do anything dad to cause unnecessary anger there’s going to plenty of it in the best of parenting!

  • What does it mean to provoke kids to anger?
  • What are things that we do as dads that would provoke unnecessary anger?

PROV 15:1 harsh and painful and careless words stir up anger.
Saying things doing things neglecting things that cause legitimate avoidable anger!

yelling, unjust and excessive punishment, hypocrisy, verbal putdowns

  • What are things perhaps your father did to provoke anger in you?

Another reason Paul warned against anger is because anger trumps other emotions. Its almost impossible to feel tenderness, compassion, love and generosity when your angered.

Anger is a strangler of other emotions. Paul is pretty worked up about anger in his letter to the Ephesians


EPH 4:26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

A way to respond Eph 6:1-4 is to inspire other emptions! We need to think of all the things that make them unnecessarily mad and don’t do it. Also, inspire the other good and Godly emotions. Inspire generosity, tenderness, joy, and gratitude.

What are ways to do that?

How can we inspire generosity and kindness?

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