Defining Marriage

What we are saying in this new series, and I hope you’ll declare this too, is God we want to do this your way! Our marriages can be out of order because we’re not functioning Gods way as a family.

Our own sin, selfishness and cultural bondage make it almost impossible to feel the wonder of God’s purpose for marriage between a man and a woman. So many influences outside of scripture shape our thoughts on what marriage is.


What are some of those influences?

The main thing Pastor Tommy wanted to get across about marriage

is that marriage is the display of God.


Eph 5:32 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

The words “hold fast to his wife” and the words “they shall become one flesh point to something far deeper and more permanent than we make marriage to be! It can only be compared to Gods covenant with us.

To say it much simpler, your marriage is a model of the love and sacrifice between Christ and his people.

In your marriage people can get a glimpse of how God forgives, of how He loves unconditionally, of His faithfulness and of How Christ is the treasure in good times and in difficulty.  Our marriage is modeling these things to our kids and to those around us by how we interact with our spouse.


Why is it so paramount to understand, believe and say that my marriage is a model of Christ and the church?


  • Because it lifts marriage from the comedic, unholy, unimportant, haphazard image the world makes it out to be and gives it the magnificent meaning and depth God meant it to have.
  • To say that marriage is a model of Christ and the church lifts it from self-centeredness!


If your marriage mirrors the love and sacrifice between Christ and His people then it’s a picture of the most selfless union ever created!


  • It shows the husband’s headship and the wives submission is crucial and sacrificial!


How did Jesus model headship or leadership?

After His resurrection how did the disciples respond to that headship?

So if my marriage is to be modeling that, what should it look like?

The husband gives himself up for her and the wife gives herself up for him


  • It makes grace the foundation of our marriage!


If God so loved the world He sent his only son and the basis for our chance at redemption and salvation is His grace. And this whole love story of the God of the universe making mankind most special to Him is possible because of grace. Then what should my marriage look like if its suppose to model that????


How can our marriage model the same grace, mercy and forgiveness that we see between Christ and the church?

Pastor Tommy said “His marriage survives and thrives because of grace. There’s just too much imperfection between Him and Kristie to constantly meet each other’s expectations. The more we forgive the deeper our love gets. “

If you’re not giving time to be with God, experiencing His daily grace and love then you’ll be struggling to show grace and love to the imperfect people in your life! We have to rest in it before we can showcase it.


  • To say that marriage is a model of Christ and the church means the basis of how good of a spouse you are isn’t based on how good your spouse is to you but on how good God is to you.


God’s treatment toward us isn’t based on the treatment we give Him. It’s based on justification! The good works of Christ imputed on us along with the punishment for our sin upon him. To bear with our spouse in their shortcomings and showing patience to them models that!!


col 3:12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts,kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

So as Christian husband and wives we must learn to apply grace and love received from God into the unique challenges of our marriage. I challenge you to get a greater vision for your marriage and understand that it is a model of Christ and the church. Were teaching our kids and others about God by the way we interact with our spouse. Lets represent the grace, love, leadership and sacrifice of our good good father.

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